The Developer–Client Relationship: Build Trust Through Collaboration

It All Goes So Well… Until It Doesn’t

Every software development project starts as an exciting event for everyone involved. Your client is excited that their vision is becoming a reality. You're excited about new code to write, new problems to solve, and new techniques to try. So why is it that when you show your work or present a direction, those good feelings can just … evaporate? 

Often, as developers, we take feedback as direct commentary on our skills or a challenge to our expertise. Clients, too, can feel criticized when we push back on their ideas. This can strain the relationship as both parties struggle to communicate what they actually want. But it doesn't have to be this way.

We Speak Different Languages (And That’s Okay!)

One of the first breakdowns in collaboration between developers and clients is language. Developers speak technically, focusing on how something can be built or accomplished. We look for actionable takeaways and clear direction. Clients don’t always have the technical expertise to communicate their feelings about a direction or problem they're seeing in the same terms. Their statements can feel unfocused or emotion-based. What can we do to bridge this gap?

Translate vague feedback into actionable insight. Feedback like "it doesn't feel right" or "something is off" isn't laziness - clients literally can't articulate what they're experiencing. "Make it faster" could mean load time, clunkiness, or frontend animations. Ask follow-up questions: "What specifically feels off?" "Can you show me where?" Use examples to dig into the root cause. Your job is detective work, not mind-reading.
Frame your work in their terms, not yours. When presenting, ask yourself: "How does this accomplish their goals?" If you frame presentations around what matters to the client, buy-in happens faster and trust builds quicker. Clients need to feel you're not just building a solution, but keeping their problem front and center while you work.

Know their goals and concerns before you write code. To build a good solution and explain why it works, you need to understand what problem they're solving and what success looks like to them. For every solution you come up with, ask yourself: 'Does this align with what my client is expecting?' If you can't answer confidently, you need to have another conversation.

Their Feedback Isn’t About Your Code Quality

The most common breakdown in developer/client relationships happens when feedback is taken personally. Developers internalize critique and grow resentful. Clients interpret pushback as unwillingness to make their vision a reality. How can we make this - often the hardest interaction in a project - better for everyone involved?

1. Asking for changes isn't doubting your ability. It's important to remember that a client is reacting to what they can see and experience. If what you are demoing or what they are testing doesn't seem to align with their goals, the feedback they give is often them discovering more about what they actually need and not a commentary on the direction you chose.
2. Dig into the "why". Feedback like "this doesn't work for me" or "I don't like this" stings. But instead of taking the feedback as "you should have built this better", use it as an opportunity to dig into why it doesn't work or why they don't like this. I have found that sometimes this emotional feedback can be traced back to a single misalignment. For instance, maybe not having a 'call to action' button in the header makes them afraid that they won't get the conversions that are important to their business. Ask questions, and try to understand where the client is coming from. Don’t immediately dismiss feedback because you disagree.
3. Separate yourself from the code - it's their vision, your execution. We're building the client's product, not showcasing our preferences. Of course developers should always advocate for good code and sound technical decisions. At the same time, we have to remember our ultimate job: help the client accomplish their goal. Sometimes what makes sense to you won't align with their business reality - maybe they need speed over perfection, or simplicity over features. That's okay! Your expertise guides the how, but they own the what and why. When you catch yourself resisting feedback, ask: "Is this actually problematic, or just not what I'd choose?"

You’re The Expert - Share Your Expertise Thoughtfully

After everything we've talked about - understanding their language, not taking feedback personally, remembering it's their project - it's important to remember something else: they hired you because you're the expert. They want your expertise. The key is sharing it in a way that helps rather than creates conflict. Remember that expertise isn't about being right or demanding they do what you say - it's about creating a strong partnership built on collaboration and trust.

1. Give recommendations, not just options. When presenting technical solutions to clients, do not just give an array of options for the client to pick from. Clients frequently will not know what is possible or advisable for their project. Instead, present a few options with reasonings that align with the client’s stated goals and vision. Then, give your recommendation with reasoning. Make it your goal: when you recommend something to a client, back it up with strong reasoning - both from the technical perspective and from the client’s perspective.

2. Explain the tradeoffs. If a situation arises where a client need presents a potential issue on the technical side, whether now or in the future, it’s your responsibility to explain to your client your concern and how that might affect the client’s goals and vision. Don’t just say no. Frame it in terms they care about - how might this affect their overall vision? Additionally, keep an alternative in your back pocket - don’t get into the habit of just turning down client ideas. An accepted idea from a client does a lot to build trust.

3. Keep the conversation going throughout the project. Expertise isn't just about the initial direction, it's about checking in regularly. Don't wait for demos to share what you're learning. "Hey, as I've been building this, I realized we could also solve X pretty easily" or "I noticed users might struggle with Y - want to discuss?" These small touches show you're thinking about their success, not just completing features.

4. Know when to defer to their expertise. You're the technical expert, but they're the business expert. Sometimes they'll push back on your recommendation because they know something you don't about their users, market, or constraints. Be confident in your expertise, but humble enough to recognize theirs. The best solutions come from combining both.

The Takeaway? Trust.

As developers, working with clients is about much more than the code we write. It's about building a relationship of trust by helping someone's dream or vision become reality. By asking questions, collaborating on solutions, and keeping the focus on their stated goals, the relationship will feel more like a partnership than a battle. Doing this well will not only lead to successful projects, but also to dedicated clients who return to you for future work. Trust in your expertise, but also trust your client - great things will happen when both come together!